You know, emotions are very hard to write about. It always seems like there’s just not enough words or enough space to adequately describe what an experience felt like. Now if writing about emotions is hard then imagine putting the correct words to the feelings.

What I mean is that people misunderstand things all the time and one of the easiest things to misunderstand are your feelings. Feelings can’t be taught as they are felt and how we come to know what certain feelings mean is due to the way we label them. Now imagine if you’ve labelled a certain feeling in one way all your life and then suddenly realized that you’ve give the feeling a wrong label.

How shocked would you be?

It’s interesting how when you don’t want to cross paths with someone again they just happen to appear in your life like a ghost. You don’t talk to them anymore and they don’t acknowledge your presence; you just walk past each other, calmly.

As they are nothing more than just a reminder.

You have no emotions attached to them, no happy feelings nor any sad ones that linger; you are indifferent to their existence. But what comes to mind is the defining moment that was shared, the memory which has now been scrubbed of subjectivity.

They’re not at fault completely and neither were you because both of you had your fair share of faults. In the end though, it wasn’t because you couldn’t find perfection in them but rather you couldn’t find a place for them and the values which contradicted yours.

So I left.

And now even though we’ve crossed paths again, that’s all it is, crossing paths.

We head in opposite directions, we walk further away from each other as we have our own lives and we’ll continue walking, walking away…. from the ghost of our past.

Well there are many things that I believe in so I’ll only name off a few.

I Believe….

• That having a positive outlook on life or just positive energy flowing through your body is the best way to enjoy anything to the fullest.

• I’m not a church going man; I never was. I just believe that there is something out there that is larger than us. I have faith that whatever it is, it is connected to each and every one of us and it is the source of miracles as well as the granter of wishes.

• That maybe there is a heaven and a hell out there but the reality is that you can make your own heaven right now as well as your own hell.

• That so long as you are happy, you don’t need to be the richest person on the planet, you don’t need much more than what you can already enjoy otherwise you get obsessed with basing your happiness on only what you buy.

• That there is Abundance.

• That when one door closes another one opens, it’s just accepting the fact that the one door is closed is unfortunate but you have to move on.

• That when you show your appreciation towards someone, genuine appreciation, then they will always remember you.

• That you can always hope for anything but you can’t expect anything and even if you do, you should always have low expectations.

• That so long as you do something you enjoy, so long as you pursue your passion, you will be happy.

I Believe that I’m a Believer.

Now I’d be lying if I said I never thought about this once in my life because I have.

It was a long time ago when I was much younger…. it’s been so long though that the details of why I thought about it has long gone but I do remember the general idea.

It was due to a sense of Loneliness.

But then everything changed one day…. not instantly but through time.

As rather than sulking in a corner, I reached out, further and further each day until those feelings no longer had a hold on me.

I believed that things will get better even if it was going to take some time and as a result I could leave those feelings where they belonged.

In My Past.

As long as you’re alive, you can find a solution to what’s troubling you, so reach out and find it.

Ever have a person in your life where you tried to walk away but yet you couldn’t?

You’ve tried to ignore them and you’ve tried to avoid them.

And they’ve probably tried to do the same thing too…

But when you try to ignore them, something in your daily life happens to bring them back up.

You try to avoid them, their existence and their presence but then you wind up catching it in person or in representation.

You try so hard to get them out of your life, to focus on school, to focus on your friends but yet you still don’t want to burn the bridge with them.

And now you’re at a standstill between your emotions and your feelings; between what you want and what you don’t want.

It is chaos and it is exhaustion; it projects through you and through them.

Through your gaze and through your speech.

Through their poise and through their heart.

Maybe it is time to admit that trying to avoid them isn’t going to make you feel any better, that trying to speak to them in an unfriendly voice is not going to spur a friendly reply.

Maybe it’s time to admit, that this person played a large part in your life and that the reason you didn’t want to burn the bridge was because inside you know that you really don’t want them to leave.

“That you really don’t want them to leave…”

I’ve always heard from people; my friends, colleagues etc. that with women it’s the little things that count the most.

Not the big presents nor the once in a life time moments, but then again those do possess their own value as they are “once in a lifetime moments”. However leading up to those moments are always made up of the little things. Things that happen every day that we may deem insignificant ourselves but when really they mean a lot to someone else.

Wouldn’t you agree?

They like it when we remember the brief bits of information that would have been seen as insignificant by everyone else. But what about with guys?

I think everyone enjoys it because this shows that they actually listened intently.

Like when this girl brought up something that I said in a text weeks ago; it was about my hair. Hearing her bring it back up in the words I used really put a smile on my face because it was something that I thought of as being a small detail yet she still remembered it as if it was the most important thing in the world.

But maybe it wasn’t cause she wanted to pay attention but instead her feminine side was at work. I think it’s safe to say that women are better at remembering things than guys cause when we make a mistake, they remember it for a very long time….

Now unlike how us guys need to be told to pay attention to the details, a guy doesn’t tell a women to pay attention, not because he doesn’t care but because women already do this naturally. We don’t need to tell them to do what they’ve been doing all their lives.

So I’m not going to kid around, it feels great to know that someone remembers the tiny things you said at the end of the day or rather after a few weeks.

It feels even better though to know that the listening and remembering details about each other is not one sided.

Two is better than one.

Browsing the grocery store for the Chocolate Soy drink I use to make recovery drinks , I happened to stumbled upon a great deal, 3 cartons of it for $5.00! (Normally they’re just a bit over $2.00 each). I grabbed three, walked off through the checkout and felt quite happy about it.

But this feeling instantly made me think back to grocery shopping with my mom when I was little. It made me remember how she felt excited/happy when she was able to get groceries that had a deal with them; I would think “well of course because everyone loves it when they get more by spending less” but I never actually got to feel what it was like as I wasn’t the one spending the hard-earned money.

Yet that’s it isn’t it?

Because it wasn’t my money that was being spent, money made from hours of work, I didn’t have a connection to the feeling of how happy it would be to get what you want and not have to spend as much.

Though now that I am the one who uses his own money, the money I earned, I know what it truly feels like.

“Less is more”, in terms of quantity and in personal feelings.

I sleep under the warmth of my blanket.

Its comforting embrace caresses my body, allowing my mind to wander. It travels to the most exotic locations, the places of fantasy and the places where laws do not exist.

It is freedom, it is beautiful.

And then…. it rings.

I’m pulled away but my eyes are still closed.

I reach out to grab hold of anything, anything at all; an image, a sound or a color before I must leave.

But every time I do, the annoying tap dance of my phone pulls it away like a vacuum cleaner on a rampage. With every tap and every buzz, it disappears until there is nothing left.

Wrong.

Not everything is gone because the memory still exists. No, I don’t remember the sounds I heard, nor the images I saw but I remember the feeling.

As long as I remember, I know I’ll get there again. Its like after going on a vacation to a distant land, if there are no pictures nor souvenirs then we will only vaguely remember what it was like. It will feel like a dream.

I want it to be reality, so I open my eyes to take my leave but not before I take my souvenir. 

My detail, my memory; all I need is one and one is enough to help me remember the great feeling that way I can have it again.

War.

It affects everyone not only the soldiers doing the fighting but also their families and the rest of the world unintentionally or intentionally. It is a phenomenon of which not many of us would choose to take part in but yet without us realizing, we all fight in a war, a war within ourselves over which choice(s) to make.

The nervous feeling we feel is caused as a result of the battle between the different choices. If left unresolved, the war will just continue and sprout other unwanted feelings ( frustration, anger, confusion etc.) into a person and their surroundings, therefore a choice must be made in order to avoid the growth of unwanted feelings in that point in time. Both of the conflicting sides possess equal numbers, they each have a 50/50 chance at winning the war but of course if one side were to receive just one person extra, then the odds of winning will tip in their favor.

This is where a mercenary comes into the picture (to tip the odds), that mercenary is you, the conscious you who has the last say in which choice to make in your life.

Your payment: Lasting feelings and thoughts that will either create regrets or future prospects in your life.

Picture yourself in a clothing store and the girl/guy that works there (whichever takes your fancy) catches your eye, they interest you, you are single. But at this point you may start feeling nervous about approaching them to chat; you have two choices, you either walk up to them to say something (interesting preferably) or you turn around and walk out the doors to rest of the mall.

You do know what feelings and thoughts will result from this:

A) You know that if you walk out from the store, you may think to yourself later on about what that person could have been like, they could have been an interesting person to chat with, they could have been a potential boyfriend/girlfriend etc. but now you’ll never know because you walked out and left space for a regret to form. So really, you will receive feelings of relief in the beginning because you walked away from the situation and stayed in your comfort zone but then you will also receive feelings of regret for walking away and being left with “I wonder…..”

B) You know that if you approach them, they will either like you or not. Regardless of how the interaction ends, you can always look back and not have to wonder how the interaction would have been like since you found out already. So you will receive nervous feelings in the beginning but then you will receive feelings of relief because you don’t have to wonder anymore.

In a war, you’re risking your life (literally) so pick the best deal. You are risking your life either way because whatever memory is created from that event will stay with you for the rest of your life and will affect you in any way whether or not you realize what that way is.

Your future is decided by your present.

Choose Wisely.

Your Question: Is Moving on Fast a good thing or a bad thing?

I don’t think it really matters whether or not you’ve moved on faster or slower than other people, all that matters is whether or not you have moved on.

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