It affects everyone not only the soldiers doing the fighting but also their families and the rest of the world unintentionally or intentionally. It is a phenomenon of which not many of us would choose to take part in but yet without us realizing, we all fight in a war, a war within ourselves over which choice(s) to make.
The nervous feeling we feel is caused as a result of the battle between the different choices. If left unresolved, the war will just continue and sprout other unwanted feelings ( frustration, anger, confusion etc.) into a person and their surroundings, therefore a choice must be made in order to avoid the growth of unwanted feelings in that point in time. Both of the conflicting sides possess equal numbers, they each have a 50/50 chance at winning the war but of course if one side were to receive just one person extra, then the odds of winning will tip in their favor.
This is where a mercenary comes into the picture (to tip the odds), that mercenary is you, the conscious you who has the last say in which choice to make in your life.
Your payment: Lasting feelings and thoughts that will either create regrets or future prospects in your life.
Picture yourself in a clothing store and the girl/guy that works there (whichever takes your fancy) catches your eye, they interest you, you are single. But at this point you may start feeling nervous about approaching them to chat; you have two choices, you either walk up to them to say something (interesting preferably) or you turn around and walk out the doors to rest of the mall.
You do know what feelings and thoughts will result from this:
A) You know that if you walk out from the store, you may think to yourself later on about what that person could have been like, they could have been an interesting person to chat with, they could have been a potential boyfriend/girlfriend etc. but now you’ll never know because you walked out and left space for a regret to form. So really, you will receive feelings of relief in the beginning because you walked away from the situation and stayed in your comfort zone but then you will also receive feelings of regret for walking away and being left with “I wonder…..”
B) You know that if you approach them, they will either like you or not. Regardless of how the interaction ends, you can always look back and not have to wonder how the interaction would have been like since you found out already. So you will receive nervous feelings in the beginning but then you will receive feelings of relief because you don’t have to wonder anymore.
In a war, you’re risking your life (literally) so pick the best deal. You are risking your life either way because whatever memory is created from that event will stay with you for the rest of your life and will affect you in any way whether or not you realize what that way is.
Your future is decided by your present.